What True Support Really Looks Like

We often imagine support as something obvious. Hands on hips, steady eye contact, strong words of encouragement. But true support, runs deeper than appearances. Especially in birth and postpartum, support becomes less about what’s seen and more about what’s felt.

In Devoted Birth and my Birthing with Intention webinars, we return to this question again and again:
What does true support feel like, for you?

The Myth of Obvious Support

Culturally, we’re taught to look for support in action:
Someone doing something, saying the right words, stepping in with certainty.

But true support doesn’t always look like that.

Sometimes it’s the partner who doesn’t try to fix it, just holds your hand.
Or it’s the doula who speaks only when needed, but whose calm fills the room.
Sometimes it’s the friend who doesn’t ask for updates, just drops off a meal without expectations.

In birth, and especially in postpartum, the loudest support isn’t always the most lasting.
It’s the soft, attuned presence that often stays with us the longest.

The Feeling of Being Held

So, what does true support feel like?

In Rooted Presence, we explore the difference between being helped and being held.
Being held is a nervous system experience. It’s when someone is grounded enough to co-regulate with you. Calm without taking over, steady without needing credit.

True support feels like safety. Like space to unravel.
Like being trusted to make your own decisions, with someone close enough to back you up when you need it.

It isn’t performative. It doesn’t need to be seen to be real.

Support That Meets You Where You Are

Devoted Birth invites a more personal lens:
What kind of support helps you soften instead of tense?
Who do you feel most like yourself around?
When does your body feel safest; what gestures, words, or energy make you exhale a little deeper?

These are the kinds of questions that lead to true support.
And they’re exactly what we’ll be exploring in Rooted Presence: Steady Through Labor, my next free webinar.

Redefining the Role of Support People

For support people, this reflection matters too.
In this second session of Rooted Presence, we’ll talk about what it really means to be a grounding presence.

Support isn’t about doing everything right.
It’s about tuning in.
Slowing down.
Offering care without trying to control the outcome.

Because true support in birth looks like trust.
It looks like presence.
And it starts with intention.

Join the Conversation

Whether you’re giving birth or supporting someone who is, Rooted Presence: Steady Through Labor will help you understand how to show up in ways that truly serve.

💬 We’ll explore how to stay grounded, how to co-regulate during labor, and how to support without taking over.

🕊 This free session is live on Sunday, June 8 at 11am PST. Replays available for those who sign up.

And if you’re reading this after then, no worries. Webinars take place on a seasonal basis year-round so you can catch the next series I’m offering.

👉 Sign up for Rooted Presence: Steady Through Labor

Looking for birth support you can access anytime?

✨ Devoted Birth is my full childbirth education course; designed to walk with you through pregnancy, labor, and postpartum with grounding, clarity, and flexibility.

👉 Explore Devoted Birth